6 comments on “The Female Perspective: 50 Shades of Domestic Abuse?

  1. I really like that you spoke about this. I personally just finished reading the series, and while I have nothing good to say about her writing as a whole (I found much of it lackluster, and her word choice was like jumping hurdles to get through what had potential as a story) but I’m well known for reading through poorly written books if they have any inkling of storyline.

    Reading the whole series, it is clear the relationship between Christian and Ana, while unusual and with it’s own brand of problems, is not one of abuse. Having been in an emotionally abusive relationship myself, I can clearly see that Ana is not succumbing her will to that of Christian’s and that is the biggest sign. She remains her own person throughout the relationship, and when she does “submit” it is always on her terms, with her running the show. Even in the poor writing, this is quite clear.

    So while I don’t think the books are any good, and I’m not jumping out of my shorts to see the movie, I feel this backlash is well undeserved, and purported by people who have made no attempts to read the story.

    I agree, let’s focus on the bigger issues at stake here, instead of shaming a community that honestly can be very sexually freeing.

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    • Yes!!! I love this comment so much. I have been the victim of emotional abuse as well so I agree 100% with you, 50 Shades does not portray this in the least. Ana has her own brain and while naive and a little annoying, she doesn’t allow Christian to walk all over her, nor does she allow for anything to happen that she doesn’t consent to. There are bigger issues and we need to back off the BDSM community, consenting adults are allowed to make any and all choices they wish to make! Thank you so much for your thoughts.

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  2. You can’t give the fact that this book is about BDSM to prove that it’s not about abuse. Why? Because the BDSM lifestyle in real life has nothing to do with the book, and it in fact made a lot of the people practicing this lifestyle extremely angry about the misperceptions coming from this piece of… art 🙂

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  3. It saddens me that so many people spend time talking about the controversy of this movie and the outrage of the “Deflate Gate,” but there is not national attention given to life altering issues. Not to minimize emotions or views that people feel passionate about, but what about mental illness, the state of our country, the beheading and burning of humans, child sexual abuse and extreme neglect; why don’t these topics warrant more than one day of water cooler talk when they occur? Take for example the house in Blackstone, MA that was found with 4 living children, 3 dead babies and a pile of feces two feet high, what has come out of that? Certainly not outrage, no talk of litigation change, or social groups revolting, no think tanks brainstorming how we can prevent this in the future. I am tired of everyone talking about the mundane in a society of true hurt and brokenness where people need help. I am glad you wrote about this, because it is important, I just felt compelled to rant. 🙂

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    • I appreciate and respect your rant and I don’t have any kind of an answer for you other that it seems as though people obsess about things like this because it’s easy. Talking about abuse or war is hard and people don’t like that (I am speaking in generalities here). It’s a sad commentary on the world that the Kardashians take up more space than genocides happening across the globe.

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  4. Pingback: The Female Perspective: #AskELJames Is Internet Bullying and Here’s Why | Great Stories Community

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